Grammar Pet Peeves

 

 

 

 

Two Straight Flushes, 10 Minutes

Some days, you just run so bad it is pathetic.  Other days, you have the golden horseshoe where the sun don't shine.  Playing some online Omaha today, I hit 2 straight flushes in a 10 minute time period.  One of them was flopped, the other rivered.  Sweet.

 

Dawdling Service

This is my all time favorite clip regarding customer service.  From Lonesome Dove, my all time favorite cowboy show.

Great Starting Hands vs. Great Flops

I was playing Omaha 8 today and pondering the disconnect we sometimes have between our great starting hands vs. great flops (for someone).  Several times I was dealt powerhouse hands, like AA23 double suited, only to see a flop that destroyed my great start.  Think of a flop like 9/10/J with either two or three of one of the suits you don't have.  You have no low draw, and really no high draw either without running cards,  ace and pairing the board.  You have to sadly fold.  It is especially bad on some of the aggressive tables where it is often raised or capped preflop.  Naturally, with a big starting hand like that you are merrily raising and calling with the herd.

Now compare this with a starting hand you would never play except in an unraised big blind.  Say, K, 9, 7, 2 rainbow.  Trust me, if it is raised preflop this bad boy is going straight to muck heaven.  However, sometimes everyone limps (actually, in O8, this happens a lot).  I might even limp with this hand from the small blind with 8 limpers.  Anyway, the flop comes down 9/9/2 and it is capped after your opening bet...and in omaha, slow play is not the way to play the game.  This game can be so easy!!!  Of course, with the board paired you are now fading all overpairs, a 9 with a bigger kicker, and even runner small cards to steal half your pot!!!

So, the question remains.  Do you prefer great starting hands, or great flops?  This brings us to the eternal question of what hands are playable in poker.  I am coming to realize that many hands are worth playing if the conditions are right as far as position, chip stack, and table image.

Some of the lessons I learn playing omaha are so translatable to holdem, but others are not (at least I think not).  One of the things I am learning to do is to not chase the non-nut hands.  I refuse to chase straights or flushes if the board is paired.  Sometimes I fold the best hand, but overall feel that most of the time you are drawing dead.  Some players will call or even bet with small flushes or straights when the board has flush possibilities or full house potential.  I think this is a losing strategy, as they are often betting as advertised.  Also, not drawing to low hands unless they are the nuts, and unless I flop 2 low cards.  Runner runner low is not a way to make money in this game.  Of course, sometimes you are trapped in a large pot where it is a mistake to fold either a low flush draw, or non-nut low.

I like to follow the "flop it or drop it" rule for the most part.  That relates to the first part of my blog.  If you get a bad flop, you only compound it by chasing.  A good example is starting with pocket kings.  The flop pairs a smaller card, there is a bet and a raise to you.  Fold.  Simple.  Or, an ace on the flop but everyone checks.  Don't bet.  Someone just doesn't like their kicker.

Another trap hand in omaha is two pair, or sometimes even 3 pair on the flop.  I have lost a ton of money on this.  Consider your hand J/10/A/2.  Very playable.  The flop comes down J/10/2 with two clubs.  You have no clubs.  There is a bet and a raise in front of you.  Great time to fold.  You are drawing to at best maybe 3 outs.  You are way behind JJ, 10/10, AA, A2, and any two clubs.  You have no low draw.  No good will come from this hand in my experience.                                                                       

Another example of idiot lucky then unlucky

18 Player SNG, I have AA.  I raise to 200, idiot calls with K6 offsuit.  Check out result below:

 
We got all of our chips in on his check raise of my continuation bet.  The turn card paired the other card from his flopped two pair and he was toast.  I finished in 6th place, two out of the money.  Short stack and flopped top pair in big blind.  Button had bigger kicker. 

How's This For Running Unlucky

A recent comment about being an "unlucky" player struck home.  Sometimes, honestly, I feel that if my luck were just average I would cash nearly every time.  Here is an example though, of my bad luck playing early in a 27 person online sit n go tournament.  I am in early position with 2/2, several players limp, including an idiot with K/5 offsuit.  The flop is 2/5/K.  I bet $80, he reraises to $360, I reraise to $800, he shoves, I call.  The turn is a 5 and the river is a king.  Now short stacked (I had him covered), I shove with 8/8 on the button.  Everyone folds except one player who calls with A4 suited.  He hits an ace on the turn.  I am gone.

Playing in a 2nd sng, I limp from the small blind (all other players folded) with 7/7.  The big blind shoves, I call.  He has 9/9.  I am gone.

Legion Recap

Being as how I have been running major league card dead, my expectations for the Legion last night were exceptionally low.  I was not disappointed.  Drawing table 2, the one I usually deal, an older player was killing the game, winning the first 4 hands we played.  I was getting my usual garbage and folding, or small pairs and calling only to fold after the flop.  I was eliminated in 3 hands within one rotation.

Hand #1.  The old guy won a few more hands, uncontested, and when he raised yet again, I called with A/9.  The flop was middlish, 8 high.  He bet 2x the BB and I decided he had something like a big ace that did not connect with the flop, so I decided to raise to $300.  He flat called.  Well, I was hoping to take it down there or at least have my hand better defined but that didn't happen.  Another middle card came on the turn, again he bet $80.  I flat called.  River pairs 6's, he again bets $120 this time.  I raise to $400, he calls and tables pocket aces.  Hmmm, lost almost half my chips on that fiasco.

Hand #2.  Maybe 2 or 3 hands later, in the BB I have KJ.  Lots of limpers, including the UTG.  Flop is 8 high, very connected.  We all check.  Turn is K, I bet $120 and am raised to $400 by UTG.  I question him, "are you slow playing a flopped straight?"  He doesn't answer.  River is an ace, I check, he thinks a bit, then bets $350, about half my stack.  I call, he turns over K8 for two pair.  Granted, they were suited, but really?  King 8 UTG is a crap hand.

Hand #3.   Now extremely short stacked two hands later, on the button, I have 8/8.  There are a couple of limpers, and with blinds at 20/40, I go ahead a shove.  Everyone folds except a woman playing for the first time.  She calls with A/6 suited.  Naturally, an ace comes on the flop and no rescue on the turn or river.  Nice call, lady.  there is literally no hand I am shoving with that she is ahead of.

I leave the tournament, first out in quite a while.

How wrong is this?

Playing in a 27 person SNG online, I am sitting pretty snug in 2nd place with 14 players remaining.  In an unraised pot, playing J/Q in the small blind, The flop is 3/4/J.  I bet a half pot bet, everyone folds but one player.  The turn is a queen, I bet pot size, the player calls.  River is a king, I bet about 1/2 his remaining chips, he calls and turns over K/K for a set.  Now well below average stack, on the button I limp with J/10.  Flop is J/10/x with one club.  I shove all in, the chip leader calls with 10/2 of clubs.  Runner runner clubs and I am gone.  Unbelievable.

Playing another SNG, I flop a straight with 9/10 (flop is J/Q/K).  Caller has J/Q.  River brings another Queen.  Later, I flop 2 pair on same flop with K/Q.  Caller has 9/10, his straight holds up.  How wrong is this?

Either I am the unluckiest player in poker or the worst.  Haven't decided yet.  Keep getting snapped by inferior hands, like this morning AJ vs K10, he flops two kings.  Queen high flop, I have Q8, all in called by 6/8, he gets runner runner flush.  Bad luck or what?  I hate this game.

It continues.  Just knocked out of another tournament.  In BB with Q/Q, 3 limpers.  I shove, called by J/9.  He hits a J on flop and 9 on river.

Permanently Pissed Cause I Missed Woodstock

O.K., a lot of other people in my generation missed it too, but still, it was one of the greatest concerts in the history of the world....during my youth.  Here are some of the reasons it was awesome:













My sincere apologies to Paul Allen, but never liked Jimi Hendrix.  I have the 4 cd collection of all the woodstock songs, and just skip over them.   I do like Richie Havens.

Why The Name of my Blog is Brilliant

Just reflecting about why I chose my blog name.  The more poker that I play, the more appropriate it
seems.  Sometimes we choose intuitively and just nail it.  Review the lyrics below, particularly the part about "logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead".  Often when I am playing I really feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole.  And yes, I know it is a song about drugs.


One pill makes you largerAnd one pill makes you smallAnd the ones that mother gives youDon't do anything at allGo ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall
And if you go chasing rabbitsAnd you know you're going to fallTell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillarHas given you the callTo call Alice, when she was just small
[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/white-rabbit-lyrics-jefferson-airplane.html ]When the men on the chessboard get upAnd tell you where to goAnd you've just had some kind of mushroomAnd your mind is moving lowGo ask Alice, I think she'll know
When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy deadAnd the white knight is talking backwardsAnd the red queen's off with her headRemember what the dormouse said“Feed your head, feed your head”

Neighborhood Watch Guy

This whole Zimmerman/Martin episode reminded me of a time 40+ years ago.  I was stationed at Ft. Bliss, Texas and living in the base married housing with my new wife and new baby.  This housing was for low level enlisted people, huge complex with identical tiny houses (though they were 2 bedroom).  Everyone was about the same age, early 20's or late teens, and most had a baby.  It was a great neighborhood, we became friends with all of the folks on our block.  We fondly remember this time as one of our happiest, despite living in a house that rented for $37 a month.

My neighbor, Mickey came to me one day and said, "Phil, last night I saw a guy peeping in windows.  I think he did it before, too."  The weekend was coming up and Mickey asked me if I had a weapon.  I said, "Sure, I've got my 410 shotgun".  He suggested we sit up and see if we could catch the guy.  I agreed to do so, and sat in our little mudroom for a few hours in the dark, feeling pretty silly.  Finally, around midnight, called it a day and went to bed.

A very short time later, I hear shots ringing out, and Mickey shouting "Halt".  I said, "Damn, Mickey got him!"  I grabbed my shotgun and ran out the door.  Between our houses stood a young serviceman, trembling, while Mickey held his revolver on him.  Mickey was also shaking like a leaf.  He said, "Hold him while I call the MP's".  I agreed, leveling my shotgun on the guy, who was going nowhere.  A few minutes later, the MP's arrive to arrest the guy.  Mickey and I high five (doubtful memory...high fives had not been invented yet), and go to bed.  Oh, by the way, Mickey was a Caucasian, the guy was an African-American.  I am thankful that we did not end up with a Treyvon Martin/George Zimmerman type of situation as he definitely could have been shot, but not with skittles or Arizona ice tea, they had not been invented yet.   

Another Friday Night and I Ain't Got No Money (Apologies to Sam Cooke)

Wisely, I planned ahead for my usual Friday night Legion beating (please, sir, may I have another) by signing up early to deal table 2.  This usually guarantees at least a $30 rebate in tips,  while also meaning that I did not have to stay until the bitter end...though I did anyway.  There was a major distraction at the table which got a lot of discussion later.  A very young, very pretty girl pulled up a chair next to my table and several players tried to educate her on the intricacies of Texas hold 'em, things like, you get two cards, then the dealer turns over 3 cards.  You know, advanced stuff like that.  She was the bad luck charm for the two players she was sitting next to...both busting early.  She then moved to the handsome young man who was dominating the table.  He was soon gone. 

After table 3 broke down, my nemesis, Carl moved to my table.  Major rut-row.  However, I managed to avoid him and almost saw him get busted when he called an all-in with AQ.  He made a comeback when he rivered a full house on a rivered flush.  True to form, he got his chips in behind but sucked out.  My last hand was also pretty true to form, shoving with 10/10 and being called by 9/9.  There was a 9 in the door, and for good measure another 9 on the turn.  Happily, I did not also give him the high hand for the night (shitty dealer, me) as I had already dealt a queen high straight flush to another player who ended up the chip leader and chopping top 3 spots.  I earned exactly $30 in tips, which meant my evening cost $10.  Chalk it up to cheap entertainment. 

Two Things that Will Drive You Crazy

I am sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are many more than 2 things that drive my crazy, but let's stick to a couple in poker for now.  This morning I was waiting for my O8 6 handed game to start.  I was the 2nd person to join the table.  Cards are dealt, heads up.  Now, heads up split pot games are usually a big time loser since the rake comes off the top and most pots are a chop.  Anyhow, before I can click "sit out next hand", the cards come to me and low and behold, I have a king high flush.  Nice.  Gotta bet it though in case low cards come for a split or the board pairs.  I bet, she calls.  Turn, no sweat, I bet, she calls.  River....perfect....no low, board not paired, I bet, she raises!!!  WTF!!!!  I call, she shows ace high flush.  Now, that drives me crazy.

Second thing driving me crazy.  In O8 I typically see the flop around 70% of the time.  While that sounds very loose and high, keep in mind most pots are not raised pre-flop and on most tables about 6 or 7 players will call, so pot odds favor a call.  You are in the blinds and only $5 to call from SB, and the button is, well, the button.  Just saying, many hands are playable in late position with a multi-way limped pot.  There are some hands I will not play no matter what (quads, trips..unless aces with a K, or 2, really raggedy hands with no connectors, suitedness, pair or ace.  Think 2/7/10/k rainbow on the raggedy hand.  As we know, any hand can flop huge, but generally we are better off starting with strong hands.  So, this morning I routinely mucked the above mentioned hand, despite decent pot odds, only to see the flop 2/2/7.  Lynne, you like apples?  How do you like them apples? (Just watched Good Will Hunting again).  Huge pot, won by some garbage flush.  Drives me crazy.  

Play Money

Living in Cannon Beach, Oregon has benefits and drawbacks.  The obvious benefits are the beautiful beaches, ocean, weather (sometimes).  The drawback, for me, is the lack of poker.  Besides the American Legion game there are just a few others, including a sketchy restaurant back room, various fraternal organizations which I have never bothered to check out....though quite a few of our Legion regulars play so it would not be like walking into a totally strange environment.  That leaves online poker.  Since "black Friday", what, three years ago? I have only been able to play the free sites with their play money.  I ran my bankroll on Zynga up to over 3 million, but have grown disenchanted with facebook, so have quit that site.  Ditto with card player.  I won some money but then they switched to payment in lame ass "Dwalla" money, which as close as I can figure out is honored nearly nowhere.  Go google it sometime, you will see how lame it is.  So, for now, it is only Pokerstars free site.  I play mostly sit n go tournaments which have been lucrative, very easy to cash in them.  Also playing Omaha 8 which is my favorite game by far.  I know, I am a sick person.  It has been described as a game designed by sadists that is played by masochists.  I am afraid there is truth there.  It is a drawing game, and a river game, with the lead passing back and forth.  It is usually played with nearly a full table limping in, or worse, being jammed constantly by two or more players.  It only takes one maniac to make it tough while 2 will make your life miserable.  You get whipped back and forth on raises by the high hand, while maybe 2 lows that are going to end up "quartered" are re-raising.  Only the high hand wins in this scenario.

I played one particularly insane game this afternoon.  To give you a flavor, the two active players, who took turns raising and re-raising every street were named, "bingolady" and "loco"something.  Every pot was gianoromous and once you called the initial capped preflop raises by 8 players in this 10/20 limit game, you had to stay to the end with pot odds on any draw.  Sick.  I got felted my $400 starting buy in fairly quickly without winning a pot.  Rebuying I played tight and finally the maniacs lost their chips and left.  I fairly quickly ran my $400 rebuy up to around $1400 and quit, up $600.  Jeesh!

In some ways, a much sicker game is pot limit Omaha 8.  There should be some law against this game.  Not only do you have the high low thing going, but the pot limit can put your whole stack at risk every single hand.  A much better game is the high only.  At least you know why they are raising you.  I have played a couple of times, once doubling up and quitting, the other time with a small loss.  I have played this at the Venetian for real money (accidentally sat down) and quickly left after a couple of lost blinds.  it is a "big money" game and favored by the action junkies.

Things You Hear at The Poker Table- that aren't dirty, but sound dirty

There are some common phrases and comments that sound dirty, but aren't:

1. Are you all in?

2. I was just a jack off from making my straight.

3. She sucked out on me.

4. I'll put you all in.

5.  I got back-doored on that.

6.  I got my nuts busted on the river.

7.  I got my pocket rockets sucked out on by big chick.

8.  I was slowplaying the nuts, when I got sucked out on by a pair of ladies.

9.  Flopping the nuts.

10.  Jack king off on the button.

11.  Pumping the nuts against a bunch of donkeys.

12.  Nice pair.

13.  I can't wait to get my hands on your rack.

14.  You slow played me.

15.  He came over the top of me.

16.  I got beat by a queen on 4th street.

17.  I like your hand better than mine.

Funny joke I just stumbled on:

A young couple on their honeymoon decides that they are going to have a signal to let each other know when they want to have sex and when they don't want to have sex. The husband tells his new bride, "If you want to have sex, just pull on my thing three times." She likes this idea but asks, "What if I don't want to have sex?"
"Well, then," he says, "Just pull on my thing 357 times."

Nemesis is Back!!!

For a long time my nemesis at the American Legion has been Carl.  Our history goes way back, but suffice it to say he has been the agent of my losses more often than about any other player (not to say I am keeping track, Bob, Linda, Terry, Eric, Robert, etc.)  The weird thing is, I can be ahead and he calls and catches up, or I can be behind and never catch up.  He has knocked me out with overfulls on the river, two pair to catch my overpair, flushes to beat my straights, you get the idea.  Again, if he calls, I am in trouble seemingly no matter how far ahead.  Friday night I was down to 6 big blinds (300/600 on next to last table).  I pick up AJ offsuit and for some dumb reason elect to just raise to 1800.  Carl calls with KQ suited.  The flop is K/J/10, giving me middle pair, an overcard and gutshot straight draw.  I check though and Carl put me all in.  I had a very bad feeling and almost folded, but called.  Turned out I had no overcard, as that made him a straight, and was drawing to 2 jacks and 3 queens.  Against some players I would have a chance, but none with Carl.  Player down.