Worst. Table. Ever.

Speaking with my sister yesterday she mentioned that it was the end of the month.  Yikes, that reminded me that the big omaha tournament in Lincoln City started at noon on Wednesday.  I quickly showered, dressed and hit the road.  I have been anticipating this tournament for a while.  Just not that many opportunities to play omaha, and hardly ever any tournaments.

The buy-in was $150 with 10,000 starting chips and half hour blinds.  For an additional $10 "dealer appreciation" you got $2000 more.  There were 76 sign ups by the time it started with a few more stragglers entering later.  I made a key mistake early on by asking the lady at the sign in desk to choose my seat card.  More on that.

So, sitting in one of my favorite omaha seats, 6 (where it is easy to see the cards), on table 12, we began the game short handed, 6 players.  The very first hand, the player to my left was surprised to be dealt 4 cards.  Since he was older than me, figured that was his standard joke, or a way of making us believe that he did not know what he was doing.  After a couple of hands, a new player sat down, and was genuinely surprised to be dealt 4 cards in his first hand, which was the big blind.  The man claimed he did not know how to play omaha, the floor was called over, and after much discussion his chips were returned to the dealer and he left for his refund.  The other player then protested, saying he also did not know it was an omaha tournament and despite the fact he had played a couple of hands, was also allowed to leave and receive a refund.  Wow.  Then the floor brought over a new player, he was seated, given chips, and when he gave his seat card to the dealer it was discovered that he was at the wrong table!!  This happened once again.  Unbelievable!!!

Another new player installed was a man in his late 70's or early 80's (remember that the average omaha player's age is probably 70), kept messing up how many chips to put in on a call or raise.  He was corrected maybe 15 times.  Unreal!!!  This particular player was loose/aggressive, raising almost every pot and extremely lucky winning most hands.  At the first break, I chatted with the player to my right and we moaned about how bad the table was.  Neither of us had ever seen anything like it.

I was up slightly after the first break (1 1/2 hours), but went "flop dead" the next 3 blind levels.  Reaching desperation state, I got them all-in with AA10J and tripled up on a board of A/Q/Q/x/x.  Mr. lucky, can't figure out the bets won the side pot with A/Q/xx under-full and was mildly shocked to see me take the main pot.

Ultimately Mr. loose/aggressive/can't figure out bets knocked me out when he raised pre-flop (imagine that), with KKxx, and I 3-bet with QQJ10.  Another player, a loose chipped up lady called with A/4/xx...no pairs.  The flop came 2/2/6 two spades, and I shoved my last chips.  They both called and checked the turn.  When the king of spades came on the river, the lag bet his full house and the lady called with the nut flush.  I had QJ of spades.  A doomed hand for anything but a queen on the river as I lose to a flush or to the overpair.

I would play this tournament again despite my poor performance and terrible table.  It is a long ass drive to Lincoln City but worth it occasionally.

King Jack, House Rake and Tulalip

I have always been confused as to why people play king/jack so aggressively.  To me, it is a good hand, but not a great one.  It is dominated by AK, AQ, AJ, KQ, and is flipping coins with any pair, with JJ and KK a huge favorite.  So, last Friday night, I survived to the final table, but pretty short stacked. Finding AK suited under the gun with only 4 big blinds (500/1000), I of course shoved.  It was folded around to the button who is young, aggressive, thinks he knows everything, and had a big stack.  He called with KJ suited (hearts) and said, "I put you on a small pair".  Right, genius.  So the flop comes with 2 hearts and now instead of being a 2/1 favorite, I am a dog.  The eight of hearts seals the deal on the turn.  Wow.  To me, KJ suited is a shoving hand much more than a calling a shoved hand. He is behind my entire range, including any ace.  Your thoughts on KJ please.



So my next poker excursion was to the Tulalip Casino in Marysville.  Spending a few days in Seattle, made the trip up on President's Day.  It had been a while since I last visited there and they had relocated the poker room, nice but slightly downsized in my memory.  Also serving pastries and coffee for free.  Nice.  I got there early and good thing.  There were a total of 115 entries in the tournament, with a ton of alternates.  I chipped up early and turns out I would need every one of them.  I flopped a set of 6's, bet the flop and turn and folded when an obvious straight came in and there was action before me.  A few hands later, playing pocket 6's, I again flopped a set.  This time the more obvious straight came in on the turn and my bet was met (same player) with a healthy raise.  I called, knowing what he had but hoping for the board to pair.  It didn't and I folded on the river to his crap straight with a 7/9.  The same player made it to the final table and was possibly chip leader when they chopped.  Unbelievably, the last 6 made only $300 each.  The buy-in was $25, with $9. going to the house.  I am definitely spoiled by our rakeless tournaments.

Sitting in a 1/3 cash game managed to drop $300 in about 3 hours.  Would have to say that every one's draw came in against me, while I couldn't hit flops or draws.  It seems that I don't need good luck so much as not having my opponents get lucky against me.  Also, I am pretty rusty in a cash game and probably could have done better with better play.   

The Pro, The Pal, and The Cockroach

The Wednesday tournament went well for me.  I have been very close to "quitting poker forever" because my luck has been so sour.  So, much to my surprise pairs were holding up against draws and overcards were hitting against pairs in those critical coin tosses.  Had some great matchups to eliminate players (my AK vs. AQ for example), and doubled up by the first break, always important. Making the final table, we got down to 4 players.  The pro had a huge stack, my pal had the second largest, about the size of mine, and the cockroach (really a very nice man), was running on fumes with no more than 1 or 2 blinds.

He doubled up through me 3 times, shoving just a little more than the big blind (me) and winning each time.  He tripled up once when another player also entered the pot.  Just could not get rid of him. Four place were being paid, with the 4th spot $80, twice the entry fee, so with no bubble and a very short stack at the table, the pro was raising frequently using his big stack to intimidate.

My friend was on my left, and I could not win against his big blind, and threw away trash hands maybe 6 times in a row, finally raising with 5/7 out of frustration.  Call.  Lose.  Finally the cockroach is eliminated and I find A/9 against my nemesis.  I raise, he re-raises a large amount that he thought put me all-in.  He did not see that I had about 1600 left, and when I called, he immediately turned over K/K.  With blinds at 300/600 and the pot at 10,000, and only 1600 behind, I almost called the queen high flop even knowing what I was against.  You could say that I was pot committed but decided to fold anyway.  The call of his re-raise was my worst decision of the night, what was I thinking I could beat? The fold turned out to be a good decision as after 3 or 4 called shoves (maniac mode) we ended up in a very close 3 way tie in chips.  The decision was made to chop chop and we each got $225 (19 players).

   

Hoist By My Own Petard

When I came home early from poker Friday night, my wife kindly asked "what happened?".  This falls under the category of rhetorical questions as she does not want any explanation of poker hands, so I looked at her and said, "I was hoist by my own petard".  She had a quizical look on her face so I asked her if she knew what that meant.  Now, Helene is an educated woman.  Truthfully, more so than me, having attended the same college, University of Missouri, but having the advantage of actually going to classes and paying attention.  She majored in journalism, later switching to education and eventually completing the classes for her masters degree.  Plus she reads more than me and watches jeopardy religiously, so, let's just say she is well educated.  However, I was an English major and participated in some serious Shakespeare study.  Well, at least I took the class and read most of his stuff.  Hell, I even attended one play in college but unfortunately consumed a large cup of an alcoholic concoction we brewed up in a trash can called, most appropriately "quivering death". Its main ingredient was grain alcohol.  I don't remember which play, anything in it, who was with me, or how I got home.  I do remember that when we returned, the music was playing loud and everyone at the party was passed out or assumed dead.

What is a petard?  It is a bomb designed to blow a hole in a wall during a seige.  You can read all about it in wikipedia.

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So, back to "hoist by my own petard".  According to wikipedia, it is a phrase taken from William Shakepeare. He wrote "hoist with his own petard" in Hamlet. The word "hoist" is the (now archaic) past participle of "hoise", the earlier form of the verb "hoist".^[3][4]

In the following passage, the "letters" refer to instructions written by Hamlet's uncle Claudius, the King of Denmark, to be carried sealed to the King of England, by Hamlet and his schoolfellows Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. The letters, as Hamlet suspects, contain a death warrant for Hamlet, who later opens and modifies them to refer to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Enginer refers to a military engineer; the spelling reflects Elizabethan stress.

There's letters seal'd: and my two schoolfellows,

Whom I will trust as I will adders fang'd,

They bear the mandate; they must sweep my way

And marshal me to knavery. Let it work;

For 'tis the sport to have the enginer

Hoist with his own petar'; and 't shall go hard

But I will delve one yard below their mines

And blow them at the moon: O, 'tis most sweet,

When in one line two crafts directly meet.

After modifying the letters, Hamlet escapes the ship and returns to Denmark. By "hoist with his own petar" (literal translation: "cause the bomb maker to be blown up with his own bomb"), Hamlet means he is metaphorically turning the tables on Claudius, whose messengers are to be killed instead of Hamlet. Shakespeare's use of "petar" (flatulate) rather than "petard" may be an off-colour pun.^[5][6]

This is what happened in the poker game.  Down to 14 players from our starting 38, I had just moved to another table.  I was short-stacked with around 1900 chips and blinds at 300/600.  When the UTG player raised to 1200, I defended my small blind holding A/10 by shoving all in.  Easy call for the big stack.  I was pleased and a little surprised to see him turn over K/10.  It is always nice to be holding the dominating hand.  The board delivered no surprises, and I was doubled up.

The very next hand, I was on the unraised button and found my second pair of the entire night, 7/7.  Now, I am not a big fan of small pairs, and 7's qualifies as that, however with 7 big blinds and only the SB and BB to beat I know how to play them.  So, my second all in is met with the same player calling with....wait for it......A/10.  Do you see where I am going with this?  There is an ace on the flop and I am out of the tournament......hoist by my own petard, beaten by the same hand that I had beaten him with.

Oh, and one more thing, my wife served a new dish earlier that evening, General Tsao's cauliflower, a vegan dish, delicious but with the side effect of giving me serious gas.  Yet another reference to Shakespeare's quote.  Was that too much information?  Whatever.

Birthday Boy Bad Beat

At Wheeler last night it was Robert's 83rd birthday.  He easily claims the "honor" of being the oldest poker player in our game.  He was wearing his baseball cap sideways gangsta/kid style.  Funny.  He claimed that it was his good luck since he had won the Friday tournament with his hat worn that way.

Alas, it was not to be his night.  He was seated at table 2, and when there was some commotion we got up to see what was going on.  Robert had a pair of aces, another player had a pair of kings.  The flop was A/K/x.  Lucky Robert, right?  Nope, the river brought the last king and Robert was eliminated by quads.  Straighten that hat out, Robert!!!!

I have been running so bad lately that last night was no big surprise for me.  Never really got any traction and lost last hand with a short stack calling a big raise from his AK suited with my QJ off. The flop left me drawing almost dead, A/A/10.  No gutshot draw as the king fills him up.  My only chance is runner runner 8/9.  Nope.

On a side note, on the drive home I am always vigilant for critters crossing the road ahead of me, particularly elk as they will probably kill you.  So, what do I see next to the road?  A young wolf I think.  Might be wrong as not aware they are around here, but sure looked like it.

Puzzling Behaviour

Alright, I know that I have an obsessive personality....don't get me started!!!  So, one of my mother's favorite activities is strolling down to the puzzle room (that's right, they have an entire room devoted to nothing but working jigsaw puzzles) in her retirement complex and we spent some time working puzzles with her.

I must get part of my addictive personality from her, as we could not stop putting the little pieces together.  The room has big storage cabinets chock full of puzzles, most of them fairly easy, but a few 1000 piece monsters that can take days to complete.  So, leaving Phoenix, what is one of the first things we did when returning home?  Pull out a 1000 piece puzzle and start working on it.

So far have spent at least 8 hours.  We may have trouble completing it, as it looks like one piece fell on the floor and was chewed up by the dog.  BAD MILO!!!