Why The Name of my Blog is Brilliant

Just reflecting about why I chose my blog name.  The more poker that I play, the more appropriate it
seems.  Sometimes we choose intuitively and just nail it.  Review the lyrics below, particularly the part about "logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead".  Often when I am playing I really feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole.  And yes, I know it is a song about drugs.


One pill makes you largerAnd one pill makes you smallAnd the ones that mother gives youDon't do anything at allGo ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall
And if you go chasing rabbitsAnd you know you're going to fallTell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillarHas given you the callTo call Alice, when she was just small
[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/white-rabbit-lyrics-jefferson-airplane.html ]When the men on the chessboard get upAnd tell you where to goAnd you've just had some kind of mushroomAnd your mind is moving lowGo ask Alice, I think she'll know
When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy deadAnd the white knight is talking backwardsAnd the red queen's off with her headRemember what the dormouse said“Feed your head, feed your head”

Neighborhood Watch Guy

This whole Zimmerman/Martin episode reminded me of a time 40+ years ago.  I was stationed at Ft. Bliss, Texas and living in the base married housing with my new wife and new baby.  This housing was for low level enlisted people, huge complex with identical tiny houses (though they were 2 bedroom).  Everyone was about the same age, early 20's or late teens, and most had a baby.  It was a great neighborhood, we became friends with all of the folks on our block.  We fondly remember this time as one of our happiest, despite living in a house that rented for $37 a month.

My neighbor, Mickey came to me one day and said, "Phil, last night I saw a guy peeping in windows.  I think he did it before, too."  The weekend was coming up and Mickey asked me if I had a weapon.  I said, "Sure, I've got my 410 shotgun".  He suggested we sit up and see if we could catch the guy.  I agreed to do so, and sat in our little mudroom for a few hours in the dark, feeling pretty silly.  Finally, around midnight, called it a day and went to bed.

A very short time later, I hear shots ringing out, and Mickey shouting "Halt".  I said, "Damn, Mickey got him!"  I grabbed my shotgun and ran out the door.  Between our houses stood a young serviceman, trembling, while Mickey held his revolver on him.  Mickey was also shaking like a leaf.  He said, "Hold him while I call the MP's".  I agreed, leveling my shotgun on the guy, who was going nowhere.  A few minutes later, the MP's arrive to arrest the guy.  Mickey and I high five (doubtful memory...high fives had not been invented yet), and go to bed.  Oh, by the way, Mickey was a Caucasian, the guy was an African-American.  I am thankful that we did not end up with a Treyvon Martin/George Zimmerman type of situation as he definitely could have been shot, but not with skittles or Arizona ice tea, they had not been invented yet.   

Another Friday Night and I Ain't Got No Money (Apologies to Sam Cooke)

Wisely, I planned ahead for my usual Friday night Legion beating (please, sir, may I have another) by signing up early to deal table 2.  This usually guarantees at least a $30 rebate in tips,  while also meaning that I did not have to stay until the bitter end...though I did anyway.  There was a major distraction at the table which got a lot of discussion later.  A very young, very pretty girl pulled up a chair next to my table and several players tried to educate her on the intricacies of Texas hold 'em, things like, you get two cards, then the dealer turns over 3 cards.  You know, advanced stuff like that.  She was the bad luck charm for the two players she was sitting next to...both busting early.  She then moved to the handsome young man who was dominating the table.  He was soon gone. 

After table 3 broke down, my nemesis, Carl moved to my table.  Major rut-row.  However, I managed to avoid him and almost saw him get busted when he called an all-in with AQ.  He made a comeback when he rivered a full house on a rivered flush.  True to form, he got his chips in behind but sucked out.  My last hand was also pretty true to form, shoving with 10/10 and being called by 9/9.  There was a 9 in the door, and for good measure another 9 on the turn.  Happily, I did not also give him the high hand for the night (shitty dealer, me) as I had already dealt a queen high straight flush to another player who ended up the chip leader and chopping top 3 spots.  I earned exactly $30 in tips, which meant my evening cost $10.  Chalk it up to cheap entertainment. 

Two Things that Will Drive You Crazy

I am sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are many more than 2 things that drive my crazy, but let's stick to a couple in poker for now.  This morning I was waiting for my O8 6 handed game to start.  I was the 2nd person to join the table.  Cards are dealt, heads up.  Now, heads up split pot games are usually a big time loser since the rake comes off the top and most pots are a chop.  Anyhow, before I can click "sit out next hand", the cards come to me and low and behold, I have a king high flush.  Nice.  Gotta bet it though in case low cards come for a split or the board pairs.  I bet, she calls.  Turn, no sweat, I bet, she calls.  River....perfect....no low, board not paired, I bet, she raises!!!  WTF!!!!  I call, she shows ace high flush.  Now, that drives me crazy.

Second thing driving me crazy.  In O8 I typically see the flop around 70% of the time.  While that sounds very loose and high, keep in mind most pots are not raised pre-flop and on most tables about 6 or 7 players will call, so pot odds favor a call.  You are in the blinds and only $5 to call from SB, and the button is, well, the button.  Just saying, many hands are playable in late position with a multi-way limped pot.  There are some hands I will not play no matter what (quads, trips..unless aces with a K, or 2, really raggedy hands with no connectors, suitedness, pair or ace.  Think 2/7/10/k rainbow on the raggedy hand.  As we know, any hand can flop huge, but generally we are better off starting with strong hands.  So, this morning I routinely mucked the above mentioned hand, despite decent pot odds, only to see the flop 2/2/7.  Lynne, you like apples?  How do you like them apples? (Just watched Good Will Hunting again).  Huge pot, won by some garbage flush.  Drives me crazy.  

Play Money

Living in Cannon Beach, Oregon has benefits and drawbacks.  The obvious benefits are the beautiful beaches, ocean, weather (sometimes).  The drawback, for me, is the lack of poker.  Besides the American Legion game there are just a few others, including a sketchy restaurant back room, various fraternal organizations which I have never bothered to check out....though quite a few of our Legion regulars play so it would not be like walking into a totally strange environment.  That leaves online poker.  Since "black Friday", what, three years ago? I have only been able to play the free sites with their play money.  I ran my bankroll on Zynga up to over 3 million, but have grown disenchanted with facebook, so have quit that site.  Ditto with card player.  I won some money but then they switched to payment in lame ass "Dwalla" money, which as close as I can figure out is honored nearly nowhere.  Go google it sometime, you will see how lame it is.  So, for now, it is only Pokerstars free site.  I play mostly sit n go tournaments which have been lucrative, very easy to cash in them.  Also playing Omaha 8 which is my favorite game by far.  I know, I am a sick person.  It has been described as a game designed by sadists that is played by masochists.  I am afraid there is truth there.  It is a drawing game, and a river game, with the lead passing back and forth.  It is usually played with nearly a full table limping in, or worse, being jammed constantly by two or more players.  It only takes one maniac to make it tough while 2 will make your life miserable.  You get whipped back and forth on raises by the high hand, while maybe 2 lows that are going to end up "quartered" are re-raising.  Only the high hand wins in this scenario.

I played one particularly insane game this afternoon.  To give you a flavor, the two active players, who took turns raising and re-raising every street were named, "bingolady" and "loco"something.  Every pot was gianoromous and once you called the initial capped preflop raises by 8 players in this 10/20 limit game, you had to stay to the end with pot odds on any draw.  Sick.  I got felted my $400 starting buy in fairly quickly without winning a pot.  Rebuying I played tight and finally the maniacs lost their chips and left.  I fairly quickly ran my $400 rebuy up to around $1400 and quit, up $600.  Jeesh!

In some ways, a much sicker game is pot limit Omaha 8.  There should be some law against this game.  Not only do you have the high low thing going, but the pot limit can put your whole stack at risk every single hand.  A much better game is the high only.  At least you know why they are raising you.  I have played a couple of times, once doubling up and quitting, the other time with a small loss.  I have played this at the Venetian for real money (accidentally sat down) and quickly left after a couple of lost blinds.  it is a "big money" game and favored by the action junkies.

Things You Hear at The Poker Table- that aren't dirty, but sound dirty

There are some common phrases and comments that sound dirty, but aren't:

1. Are you all in?

2. I was just a jack off from making my straight.

3. She sucked out on me.

4. I'll put you all in.

5.  I got back-doored on that.

6.  I got my nuts busted on the river.

7.  I got my pocket rockets sucked out on by big chick.

8.  I was slowplaying the nuts, when I got sucked out on by a pair of ladies.

9.  Flopping the nuts.

10.  Jack king off on the button.

11.  Pumping the nuts against a bunch of donkeys.

12.  Nice pair.

13.  I can't wait to get my hands on your rack.

14.  You slow played me.

15.  He came over the top of me.

16.  I got beat by a queen on 4th street.

17.  I like your hand better than mine.

Funny joke I just stumbled on:

A young couple on their honeymoon decides that they are going to have a signal to let each other know when they want to have sex and when they don't want to have sex. The husband tells his new bride, "If you want to have sex, just pull on my thing three times." She likes this idea but asks, "What if I don't want to have sex?"
"Well, then," he says, "Just pull on my thing 357 times."

Nemesis is Back!!!

For a long time my nemesis at the American Legion has been Carl.  Our history goes way back, but suffice it to say he has been the agent of my losses more often than about any other player (not to say I am keeping track, Bob, Linda, Terry, Eric, Robert, etc.)  The weird thing is, I can be ahead and he calls and catches up, or I can be behind and never catch up.  He has knocked me out with overfulls on the river, two pair to catch my overpair, flushes to beat my straights, you get the idea.  Again, if he calls, I am in trouble seemingly no matter how far ahead.  Friday night I was down to 6 big blinds (300/600 on next to last table).  I pick up AJ offsuit and for some dumb reason elect to just raise to 1800.  Carl calls with KQ suited.  The flop is K/J/10, giving me middle pair, an overcard and gutshot straight draw.  I check though and Carl put me all in.  I had a very bad feeling and almost folded, but called.  Turned out I had no overcard, as that made him a straight, and was drawing to 2 jacks and 3 queens.  Against some players I would have a chance, but none with Carl.  Player down.